Jim

We will attend a viewing; this afternoon. A long time in coming.
Remember I told you of my friend,Jim, who passed back in December? On the 22nd?
It will be for him.
The memorial mass will be tomorrow.
Yesterday his obituary finally appeared in the local paper. Finally.
It was the driest, barest, coldest, least representative narrative of an individual I've read in a long time.
Oh, all the proper people were mentioned. The sons; the sisters - who he loved but rarely saw; the nieces; nephews - who were rarely part of his life; the wife - from whom he'd been separated for 18 YEARS.
His military career was brushed over. No real mention of his many, many accomplishments.
His work as a Contractor after his retirement was a gloss. Nada. Nothing.
The man was awarded the Order of St. Michael's, for gosh sake. He supported the homeless veterans; quietly, but consistently. He always made sure that we had a place to celebrate the 4th of July.
Nothing was made of the fact this man was a Patriot; a Soldier who revered and loved his Country.
Last, but never, never least; no mention was made of his friends. Jim had tons of friends. But especially Janis and Matt. They had grown so very close these last few years. Those two were tirelessly devoted to him in his last weeks; last days.
It was they who were at his bedside as he drew his last breath. It was they who gave him the "okay" to stop the painful battle with life and ease into Heaven. It was they who best demonstrated that selfless, selfless last act of purest love.
For all that he could be; aggravating, exasperating, stubborn, mischievous, and prissy (yes, I said prissy); Jim was loyal, true, fun, mischievous (it works both ways people), and just a darn good guy.
And THAT was what should have been written.
All of it.
Janis and Matt deserved more; Jim would have wanted it.
Jim deserved more; he earned it.
So I've written this. It doesn't matter the year of birth or death; it matters what a person WAS.
JIM TORNEY was a damn fine man.
And we loved him.
God speed, old friend.
OnceAgain

'Tis the Night of Christmas

It's Christmas evening. Like Moore's "EVE" poem; all is quiet through the house. Skip is abed along with the pup and cat. I have the TV on as I'm on call for the Hospital.
It's my last shift. I don't miss it. I guess I should, but that's the reality of it.
Maybe it really was time for a change. Or maybe that wasn't the Unit for me. I enjoyed the Unit at my prior hospital more, but the Staff at this one better.
You can't have it both ways I suppose.
Reality can just suck sometimes.
And my mood has been a bit sour.
My friend who had lung cancer passed this past Wednesday in the wee hours of the morning. He made it almost 30 minutes after the midnight hour.
Now the significance of that? The day prior had been his 56th birthday.
The old coot said he wouldn't die before his birthday and leave me older than him. A gentleman to the end and a man of honor. He just had that one major fault. He could not leave cigarettes alone.
On a happier note; eldest daughter got her CPA! She's worked so hard. I can't describe all she's done. The kid's got heart and moxie.
I wish I had half the "stuff" my girls have in and about them. They are two terrific young women.
And now Christmas is winding to a close.
So is the year, actually.
Where did the time go? Weren't we just ringing in'09 a few days ago?
I thought so. I remember being in Tallahassee with the Family.
Then the year just tumbled forward. Roughly, too.
I thought it started off well. The new job at the College, the Unit was challenging, and I was bumpimg along okay.
Then Uncle William passed and the LAG's - as I refer to them - got nasty about Estate stuff; well it got busy. Switching hospitals made it busier. Doing that while teaching and managing an Estate was probably not the smoothest move. I like to learn things the hard way. Then we piled the remodel of the house in on the list. Did I mention the contractor trouble? Thought not. Well, there was that too. Cost us. A lot. Time and about $2,000.00. OUCH!
Skip's paying for that one by the way. He insisted on THAT dude.
And just as we thought we had a handle on things and were catching our breath; the cancer hit. Worse for him, yes. But watching him; it tore you into pieces and ripped your soul.
And he did to himself. That is the hell of it.
Not easy to watch a loved one turn into a cachetic shadow. Morphine and its haze is indeed a blessing. And for him and his family and those of us who loved him too; Christmas Angels came early in the form of the Hospice personnel who c
ame and gave the tender care
all needed in those final days.
Ah, Christmas is coming to a close. The final minutes ticking a way. Time marching onward as it is want to do.
Time to count my blessings and close these musings in the quiet of this house.
OnceAgain

Highs and Lows

It's a day.  A day.
Emotions are sometimes laid out like a child's hair that has been tangled from a bubble bath gone gloriously afroth.  Snarled and whipped and furled.
Don't you sometimes wish you could pour conditioner on some events and watch them smooth out into a river of shiny taffy?
Not gonna happen.
I was supposed to share my good news with a friend, JT, as soon as I found out; or as soon as possible. JT has lung cancer that has spread.  He's terminal.  Another friend, J, as been his point of contact, go-to, don't-leave-me-I'm-afraid. 
So I had planned to ask her if today would be a good day to see him.  He's weak and has good days and bad.  Plus his sisters have converged.  And I was taught to never just "drop in" on folks.
Southern thing I suppose.
But when I saw J last night, they had just admitted JT to the hospital.  He's to have rest today while they rehydrate him and bolster him up with antibiotics.
So the plan is to see him tomorrow and share my news after I hand in my formal letter of resignation to the same hospital where he has been admitted.
Oh, my news.  I will be a full time Instructor at the College as of next quarter. 
And I'm trilled, beyond elated actually, I love working with my kids and at the College.
But, besides JT's being so ill, I am going to miss my Unit at the Hospital.
What I won't miss is the pain I've had after 12 hours of being on my feet and pulling and tugging obese patients.
I'm old and worn out I suppose.
My carcess is showing it's age.
Rats.
And my Supervisor.  Well, let's see.  I actually got him the position.  It was a thing where a good man needed a job and they had an opening and I campaigned.  So now I feel like I'm deserting him.  But I shouldn't because he is still employed and doing well.
But, I'm a mother hen over my chicks.  I have a hard time letting my children grow up.
I am going to stay through the Holidays.  I had said I'd work Christmas Eve and Christmas Day night shifts.  And I will. 
It's something I've always done. 
There are younger Staff out there with small children.  If I work those shifts, that's one more parent that can spend those shifts with their kids. 
Skip is in agreement with me on this.  So my "official" day of resignation will be the 28th.  I have to resign on the 28th as that is a work day.
Ain't no body gonna come in on the weekend just for me.  I ain't that special.
It would be real neat if I were.
Ah, life.  It raises you to such heights and then drops you on your ass just to let you know; you ain't all that, but I'm giving you a break enjoy what you have.
Live the moment I 'spose.  And I shall.
J just sent me a MMS.  JT is not doing well.  No visitors.  Family only.  She will give him my news for me so my promise will be kepted.  Let me know of changes.
Didn't I just mention landing on an ass.
Mine's a bit flatter today.
And so I will close.
OnceAgain

Details, Letters and Reports

---------- Forwarded message ----------

Date: Wed, Sep 30, 2009
Hello All,

  Just a quick note before I dash to the Campus to settle a book matter.

  I have received the check for the sale of the Warren property.  I will deposit that as well while I am out and about.

  We did well.  And I owe it all to Ricky; our Realtor.  He really went above and beyond for us.

  I did allow the buyer to take 1 month early occupancy so there is a rental check also.  I needed to stop the "bleed" as it were from the Estate monies as much as I could.  His moving into the property allowed me to stop having to keep the water and electric in the Estate name.  It wasn't that much, but every little bit helps.

  At this juncture, it is all outgo and no income.  So I've been keeping a tight, tight rein on everything.  And I've kept the check book balanced to the penny.

  Yes, I'm that type A.  I've been known to hunt down a dime in my own account and challenge it.  I'll leave it to your imagination how I've been with your account.

  I've also gotten all your replies on the Buick with the exception of Edmond and Betty.

  I need those by October 3, 2009.

  I'm sorry to place a mandate on this, but I've had to pay for insurance and upkeep.  That's a bleed on the Estate.

  If I've no reply by midnight then I will take this as a negative response as to your wishing to purchase her.  At that point, I'm placing her - as is - on Craig's List and that little flier that is local to Enterprise area and selling her.  I've got to get rid of her. ASAP.

  Betty knows the price.  The Buick is going.

  I plan to gather all the paperwork as per Mr. Marsh's instructions and place the data in the order he requested and do a run down to Enterprise in mid October and begin the dispersal of monies to all of you.

  This will meet the 6 month mandate by Alabama law and all other requirements.  I will be holding some monies back for taxes as I have to file 2009 for the Estate come January 2010.  Mr. Marsh will assist in that also.

  And the Estate did show income.

  Again, I will follow all to the strictest letter of the law.

  I realize most of you know I do this.  I just want to emphasize it in case anyone's forgotten.

  And please, don't call Mr. Marsh about when you are going to get your money.  I'm going to get all that is due; to you. I swear, by all I hold dear.  That was terribly unnecessary.  And embarrassing.

  I was mortified when he brought that up.  Grandmama would have been so upset.

  Closing of the Warren property went well, except for that mention, which I apologized for, but was long.  We had to wait for some of the paperwork.

  The gentleman buying the property is completely rehabbing the house and absolutely loves the place.  He has already gutted the kitchen and begun updates.  He plans to put a deck off the back door of what was Grandmama's bedroom.  That will be the master bedroom.  And the east wall that had the 1 window will be an entry to a master bathroom/closet.  He's also revamping the single bathroom.

  His favorite spot at the moment is the sun porch in the front.  He says he just loves to sit out there and read and relax.

  I gave him the file with the original survey and papers that I had found that could be salvaged.  I thought perhaps he would like to have the history of his new home.  He was very toughed.  He said he'd like to frame the original survey and hang it in the living room.

  He is a Major in the Army.  Flies Blackhawks.  Will probably have to do one more stint in Iraq.  But he plans on retiring in Enterprise.  He bought the house as a flip at 1st, but now that he's been in her; he says she's home.  He's going to spend the rest of his years there.

  His words were, "she's just the neatest little place.  I love her."

  He's made a workshop in the garage.  Does his own wood working.  Getting a divorce and has a young son that likes to run down the hall; through the kitchen, up the dining room; across the living room and start the circuit again.

  Sound familiar?

  We did alot of chatting while waiting for papers.  I like him.  And it made the signing over of a place I hold very dear somewhat easier.

  I didn't cry.  I was very professional and wore a nice pantsuit.  Heels, too.  I did you all proud.  Even used my good handwriting.

  So we've crossed another job off the list.  Dawn's light is showing.  And I shall wrap this up a swiftly as possible.

  Take care all,

  Aud
(Recap of one of the missives to the Relatives about the Estate)
(Told you I'd been writing)

--
Regards,
    Audrey Johnston

Audrey H. Johnston
Madison, AL 35756
256-653-3397

Back From the "Dead"

Two Months. It's been two frickin' months since I've posted. Is that not the pits?
I should be shot. But then I feel like I have been. It's been a long haul folks. And I'm pooped. Flat out TIRED. Exhausted. Sleepy. Uh....need I go on?
And the pity is; I've been writing my little fingers off. Truly. They've just been letters to other folks. Some good; some sharp; and some really to the point and kinda bad.
I think what I'm going to have to do is save a copy/paste of these little deals and then publish them so you folks will know - SHE's ALIVE!!!!
So on to the news.
The Estate is about tidied up for the year. I go tomorrow and roll the CD's over into the checking account and that's it until after January. Then we do taxes and I hope I'm done.
DONE.
Of course getting there was not without it's drama.
We sold the old homestead and that was traumatic for me. But the gentleman that bought it; is in love with the place and it'll not be torn down. Instead it will be refurbish and rebuilt and added onto for another generation to grow and love.
I can handle that. My heart is sore, but not broken.
Then I finally had everything ready to start cutting the checks. And of course the Boys were cooperative.
But the two who had howled and cried foul and kicked and screamed about the money and unfairness over waiting and sharing of and for funds; did they cooperate?
HELL NO! They were the last to send in numbers; info, etc.
Finally; I sent out emails that ask and stated if you want your money; you must do this by this or you will by George wait until after Christmas because I am taking a break from the two of you. Period.
They called in their info the next morning. And cost the Estate a bit more cash than was necessary so I could get everything out before Thanksgiving.
Creeps.
And during all this; I had a daughter and Grandest kids visit, worked my 2 jobs, got coins and Estate items appraised. I handled Buick issues and conferred with my Dad - my Stepmom is getting forgetful. I also made a RV jamboree with Skip for a long weekend. Went to classes to keep up my certificates and licenses for my jobs. Worked on the house and actually got a few projects finished. Last but not in the least; we had a friend be diagnosed with lung cancer and I spent a long evening with him while he told me things that I'm not sure I wanted to hear, but I listened. All the while thinking as I typed the long email letters to friends and family that I needed to get to my blog and blow off some steam.
The thing is, as I've said, some of my mailings were as long if not longer than my blogs. And as the Boys have noted - funny.
As a matter of fact; I've promised to keep writing and in touch because they enjoy them so much. So I could have done a cut and paste and posted to here. Or vice versa, I suppose.
Why didn't I?
I don't know. I meant too. I just never got around to it. I was always getting sidetracked. Or worn out or, or, or......
And I'm teaching 2 new subjects this quarter.
JUST when you get all your exams where ya want them... well, there ya are, they go and switch things on ya.
Oh, oh, oh. I may be down to one job in the coming year if everything works out. So all must have very good thoughts for me. But I may take on an additional class and a clinic. And if I do that; I'm going to the College full time.
It will certainly help with the neck issue. Since I got that little number started up; it's been making up for lost time with a vengeance. After every 12 hours on the floor; I spend 10 hours wanting to lay on my side and just huddle. Not a lot of fun. To be honest, it saps me. I may be to the point where I'm more effective in the classroom.
Good thing I love it there.
My Kids this quarter have again been a blast. I don't know how I get so darn lucky. But I look forward to going into work each Monday and Wednesday. I just hope it keeps on being that way. The only problem I had turn out to be because I was following the rules set out for us as Instructors. So when the President ask me to write down what happened and I did, he got 1st hand knowledge that I was doing what he told me to do.
Whew.
Especially since there were a few that weren't. Oh so glad that I wasn't one of them.
That little problem ate up a full week. Sweated it out, too. I can be, oh, so paranoid.
So that about raps this up. I'm back and I figure I can start doing the cut and paste bit to keep up.
Actually, I probably should go back into my sent files and look up and post a few things to prove I wasn't in a coma or something for the past 2 months.
I may. I may. We'll see.
In the meantime, I'm back alive and kicking.
OnceAgain

Learning the Hard Way

While I have the time; I might as well expound on the visit to the ER I had over Labor Day Weekend. Well, actually, it was the Tuesday after. I always like to wait until my Docs are out of town to do my thing.

It wasn't my fault truly. It started while we were RVing in Atlanta at the races.

I got a little achy on Friday, down right sick Saturday, Sunday was just miserable and Monday was... I told my husband; I gotta have something for this pain. I need a strong INSAID. Which is a prescription type Advil.

I called my MD's office Tuesday and they said, "they're out of town. We'll get the nurse to call you back."

She did.

And I told her what was going on and she said get to a doctor.

I think it was the neck pain and stiffness.

Well, I admitted I'd been sleeping - as it were - and resting on bags of ice due to the neck pain.

Hey, I'm a tough old bird, but this pain was something else. I couldn't turn my neck and flat out didn't want too.

Yes, I could touch my chin to my chest. I just walked like I had a 2x4 for a spine when I got up. And most of the time; I stayed in my reclining chair on my bags of ice. It soothed and kept me going.

And scared the hell out of my friends and husband.

So into my Hospital's ER I went.

I checked in, did the paperwork, got triaged, etc.

Then they took me back and I saw the Doc.

Questions.

Exam.

Found out I was an RN.

We decided to start out conservative. In other words, blood work and something for the pain. I ask for Toradol. I don't use narcotics. He raised his eyebrows. I don't like losing control, I explained.

I'm a little type A. Eyebrows stayed up, but he agreed.

That was when I realized I stepped in it. He thought I wasn't really taking all this seriously.

Well, yeah I was. I came in because I was HURTING. I don't go to ERs just to visit.

But no; I really didn't think it was what he was leaning towards. And no one was gonna look at my spine with a needle in their hand until I had more proof that there was a reason for it.

Those things are serious business.

And this was my spine. And their needle.

Of course, maybe I was a little sicker than I thought because apparently I was a little "behind" on my fluids.

10 sticks to get the IV and give the med, 4 more to get the labs. No fluids hung. If they hang fluids; they might try to keep you.

I had to give Finals to 43 kids the next day.

No way was I gonna stay.

Patch me up and send me home. I just know you guys are good.

Of course, every one's sticking their head in and asking, "Audrey, what are you doing here?"

And I felt like being sarcastic. But I kept it light. Even gritted my teeth through all the needles and just got on with it.

And the med helped. It got me through the XRays. They were bad. Bend, twist, pose.

I was aching again. Not quite as bad, but it started up again.

Eventually all settled down and I closed my eyes and caught my breath.

The results? Coming down off a virus as I suspected. And my neck had acted up as a result. Maybe the coughing had started something. The Doc's not sure.

What he was sure about was I have severe arthritis in my neck. And I need to have it followed up on. I'm in for years of thrills.

I can add that to my lower back. Ought to make for an adventure.

And it may shorten my career at bedside.

Ohhhh. So that's why I had all those uncomfortable after shift hours. All the lifting and pulling WAS getting to something. ME!

Guess I should have listened to the creaks and groans of dem bones and not dismissed it.

I can be such a dumb ass.

The good news?

Every now and then; getting poke and prodded; especially when it turns out to be difficult; can remind you what the patients you care for go through.

And that can make a person a better nurse.

But it's a hard way to learn.

OnceAgain

Estate Business

It was a good thing I sent a missive to the Lawyer and Realtor last Friday. Guess what? We're closing the house; the old homestead this coming Monday. "They" thought I knew.

I know what that means. Each thought the other had mentioned it.

Uh; noooo.

Surprise. Good thing I decided I needed to do some poking around and see what was going on.

And do ya think I'd have set my Hospital schedule up the way I did if I thought I'd be South at this time of the month?

Nope. Nada. No way.

But; as usual. I'm coping and scheduling and making do.

And here we go, my friends. Off and running. Two more items off the list of things to do after a loved one dies.

We'll close up the storage unit also.

I got off my ass and e-mailed the LAGs and told them; time to pick up the stuff and let's get it over with.

LAG=lower Alabama group. Or as I like to refer to them when I'm in a mood; the jerks.

And I do so want to get as much of this as I can over with. I just want it DONE.

Give them their monies; give them what ever it is they need and go and not have to deal with ever again.

I'll be back in Enterprise; I have children there. History, too. But not the LAGs. I'm so done.

I wish them well. A long and happy life; if it's possible for such folks to find that. But I'm running as soon as I'm free and not looking back.

Well, except to make sure there isn't anything sharp in my back. That would surely have to be plucked out.

And I hope this is the start of the end of the business. And you can bet your sweet bippy; I'll flat be sending regular missives to the Lawyer from now on and until the final day.

After all; I want to close this chapter; not just the house.

OnceAgain