Ouch

Well this has just sucked. And I mean that quite sincerely. I'm not a happy camper here, folks.
I was cleaning my house; minding my own business and the next thing ya know; OUCH.
I either pulled something, decided to play with a kidney stone; or pinched a nerve. Whatever I did I regret it, apologize for it and I'll mea culpa all day long. If it'll make it go away.
This all went down about one or so, Friday by the way. It's Monday now and still twinging. Better; but twinging. And I'm flipping tired of it.
Not that that's gonna make it better.
But ranting and raving gets a lot off my chest. Which is not helping the twinge. Or whatever it may be.
So here's the deal; when you decide to move walls and rearrange furniture; get on your hands and knees to brush off the rugs; and scrub baseboards, etc.; watch out; it could hurt.
It started off with a pain in the left side that got steadily worse. Finally walking on the tiptoes of the left foot. Had to tilt myself up on one side. Didn't go out Friday night.
Yup, stayed in and sat; leaning over to the right. Wasn't the happiest of campers. Even took some meds. And all the freakin' pills did were make me lightheaded.
So there I sat; unhappy and too zopped to do anything about it and still hurtin' like a sumbitch.
Saturday, no change. And now I'm a whimpering puppy. But quietly. And just working on paperwork for the kids at school. Gotta keep on keepin' on.
Then out to dinner to celebrate friend's birthday, Saturday night. I refused to missed THAT. Finally got SOME respite; Rum. Had a few drinks and everything eased off. Didn't last but for a few hours, but hey, take what you can get; right?
So there you are. I now have the cure for hip pain. Liquor.
Of course, you can't live off that and work. Or I can't. Or I won't.
Sunday, better. Yippee. But then I made the mistake of getting out of bed. But by now, I had a secret weapon. On the way to the birthday party, we bought me a little heating pad. And I spent the day on it. hahahahaha.
Now I've got ammo to fight back. Watch me now. Heat; gentle as a carass; all day long.
And so we have today.
I feel a bit more human. Not a twisted piece of ouchy stuff.
And now I know what it's like to be one of my patient's that lives with a chronic pain.
Mine isn't chronic, but I've gotten a dose of 3 days of good; can't escape; always there and doesn't respond to anything pain/ache/hurt.
It hasn't gone away, but it's better. And by golly, I'll take it. At least I'm walking like normal. Still not smiling about the situation, but haven't quit with life.
Skip's all about just laying around and doing nothing. I'm all about getting things done so I don't get further behind.
I have 4 classes this quarter. Smallest population is 19 students. So...
But I ouch a bit if I get too rambunctious.
Oh, well, life goes on and here I sit. Straight up at least.
So until the next post; I'll just sulk about this left hip/flank twinge deal. It'll get better or I'll give in and see Doc Amy and get her to wave her magic wand or something.
No needles.
In the meantime.
Ouch. And your move. I'm staying put.
OnceAgain

Jim's Obituary

A good man passed from this world last month. He went to join his parents and forbearers of whom he was so proud. Those of whose legacy, he strove to be worthy.
The date of his death doesn't matter, nor of his birth at this juncture.  What does matter was his life.  The life he lived and those he left behind in this world he loved so dearly.
Jim left 2 sons.  They were his sun, moon, and stars.  He was a man not afraid to tell these 2 young men he loved them.  And it was readily evident that he did.  He shone with pride when ever they were mentioned or he spoke their names.  They were the 2 people most dear in his heart.
He left Family; the ones he spoke of often were his Sisters.  Though like many modern families, they were scattered across the world.  When they all came together during his last weeks; I have it from a most reliable source he stated, "This is NICE."
For old grumpy pants to say that; well; it meant tons.  Tons.
He had a career in the Military. The Army to be specific.  He serve honorably and well.  He accomplished every task given and every mission assigned.  He was a pilot and soldier.  He was a Veteran and Patriot.  If you cut the man, he bled red, white and blue.  Literally, I believe.  He retired and went on to continue to serve in yet another capacity.
Jim worked as a Contractor continuing to serve the "Kids" as he called those still in Uniform.  And he was a quiet warrior for them.  He knew the nuances of Government workings.  His was not the manner of bluster or force.  It was finesse and tactic and campaign.  Whether he wore them down or out, I do not know; but he protected the Kids and worked for them to the best of his abilities.  "We have to look out for them," he once said to me.
He was a giver.  Quietly without fanfare or publicity, he gave to Charities and to those in need.  He especially supported Foundations set up to assist the homeless Veterans.  He gave without expecting anything in return; not even a thank you.  This was the measure of the man.
There were those who took advantage of his generosity.  But, it mattered not to him.  He wanted to help; to assist; to aid.  Did he make mistakes?  Oh, yeah.  Did he give when he shouldn't in those cases.  Definitely.  Was he taken advantage of?  Yep.  But he shook it off and went on.  Lesson learned and muster forward.  Don't dwell on it.  Another day, another Heineken.
That was our Jim.
Stubborn old coot.
Speaking of which.
He was obstinate, hard headed, set in his ways, fastidious to a fault, and could be downright prissy.  Yeah, you heard me right, people.  Prissy.  I told him once he probably starched his boxers.  He got a twinkle in his eyes and leaned forward and said, "Nah, I just iron them."  And I started laughing. It was he who gave Janis and I the names, "Thelma and Louise." He could tease and pick like a second grader. But, he could take it, too.  So, I suppose that part was okay.  That part.
He didn't play fair sometimes.  If I got in a snit with him, he made me laugh and I got "unsnitted."  That's cheating.  He cheated a lot that way with his friends. He made you laugh, really laugh.  He liked to regale his friends with jokes and stories.
He had a lot of friends.  You liked him.  He could drive you crazy with his story renditions and the way he wandered from the subject, but you just liked the guy.  And it was there he was most, most blessed.
You see, as the life of this man wound down, 2 of those friends "angeled" to him.  They had that special bond with him that sometimes the luckiest of us get.  The luckiest.
His angels were Janis and Matt.  One a saucy lady of dubious redhair and one a man in battle fatigues.  It was they who spent those last hours together with this gentle man.  It was they who gently led him from this world to the next.  It was they who performed that most selfless act of love in letting go; in telling the one who struggles to disconnect from life, "you've done well; it's okay now."
And so he let go.
And now here I am with this group of words that try in vain to give you a gist of the worth and feeling of this man. And I am not sure how to sum up his life.
Perhaps this will tell you best.
Shortly after Jim passed, my daughter call with good news.  As I congratulated her and rejoiced with her, she caught the hint of sorrow in me.  And she ask what was wrong.  And so I told her, "Jim died."
She had a bit of trouble remembering exactly who he was as she had only met him a few times.  So I jogged her memory.  Then she exclaimed, "Oh no, Mama.  Not the nice man."
And that is it that says it best. 
He was a NICE man.
OnceAgain

Jim

We will attend a viewing; this afternoon. A long time in coming.
Remember I told you of my friend,Jim, who passed back in December? On the 22nd?
It will be for him.
The memorial mass will be tomorrow.
Yesterday his obituary finally appeared in the local paper. Finally.
It was the driest, barest, coldest, least representative narrative of an individual I've read in a long time.
Oh, all the proper people were mentioned. The sons; the sisters - who he loved but rarely saw; the nieces; nephews - who were rarely part of his life; the wife - from whom he'd been separated for 18 YEARS.
His military career was brushed over. No real mention of his many, many accomplishments.
His work as a Contractor after his retirement was a gloss. Nada. Nothing.
The man was awarded the Order of St. Michael's, for gosh sake. He supported the homeless veterans; quietly, but consistently. He always made sure that we had a place to celebrate the 4th of July.
Nothing was made of the fact this man was a Patriot; a Soldier who revered and loved his Country.
Last, but never, never least; no mention was made of his friends. Jim had tons of friends. But especially Janis and Matt. They had grown so very close these last few years. Those two were tirelessly devoted to him in his last weeks; last days.
It was they who were at his bedside as he drew his last breath. It was they who gave him the "okay" to stop the painful battle with life and ease into Heaven. It was they who best demonstrated that selfless, selfless last act of purest love.
For all that he could be; aggravating, exasperating, stubborn, mischievous, and prissy (yes, I said prissy); Jim was loyal, true, fun, mischievous (it works both ways people), and just a darn good guy.
And THAT was what should have been written.
All of it.
Janis and Matt deserved more; Jim would have wanted it.
Jim deserved more; he earned it.
So I've written this. It doesn't matter the year of birth or death; it matters what a person WAS.
JIM TORNEY was a damn fine man.
And we loved him.
God speed, old friend.
OnceAgain

'Tis the Night of Christmas

It's Christmas evening. Like Moore's "EVE" poem; all is quiet through the house. Skip is abed along with the pup and cat. I have the TV on as I'm on call for the Hospital.
It's my last shift. I don't miss it. I guess I should, but that's the reality of it.
Maybe it really was time for a change. Or maybe that wasn't the Unit for me. I enjoyed the Unit at my prior hospital more, but the Staff at this one better.
You can't have it both ways I suppose.
Reality can just suck sometimes.
And my mood has been a bit sour.
My friend who had lung cancer passed this past Wednesday in the wee hours of the morning. He made it almost 30 minutes after the midnight hour.
Now the significance of that? The day prior had been his 56th birthday.
The old coot said he wouldn't die before his birthday and leave me older than him. A gentleman to the end and a man of honor. He just had that one major fault. He could not leave cigarettes alone.
On a happier note; eldest daughter got her CPA! She's worked so hard. I can't describe all she's done. The kid's got heart and moxie.
I wish I had half the "stuff" my girls have in and about them. They are two terrific young women.
And now Christmas is winding to a close.
So is the year, actually.
Where did the time go? Weren't we just ringing in'09 a few days ago?
I thought so. I remember being in Tallahassee with the Family.
Then the year just tumbled forward. Roughly, too.
I thought it started off well. The new job at the College, the Unit was challenging, and I was bumpimg along okay.
Then Uncle William passed and the LAG's - as I refer to them - got nasty about Estate stuff; well it got busy. Switching hospitals made it busier. Doing that while teaching and managing an Estate was probably not the smoothest move. I like to learn things the hard way. Then we piled the remodel of the house in on the list. Did I mention the contractor trouble? Thought not. Well, there was that too. Cost us. A lot. Time and about $2,000.00. OUCH!
Skip's paying for that one by the way. He insisted on THAT dude.
And just as we thought we had a handle on things and were catching our breath; the cancer hit. Worse for him, yes. But watching him; it tore you into pieces and ripped your soul.
And he did to himself. That is the hell of it.
Not easy to watch a loved one turn into a cachetic shadow. Morphine and its haze is indeed a blessing. And for him and his family and those of us who loved him too; Christmas Angels came early in the form of the Hospice personnel who c
ame and gave the tender care
all needed in those final days.
Ah, Christmas is coming to a close. The final minutes ticking a way. Time marching onward as it is want to do.
Time to count my blessings and close these musings in the quiet of this house.
OnceAgain

Highs and Lows

It's a day.  A day.
Emotions are sometimes laid out like a child's hair that has been tangled from a bubble bath gone gloriously afroth.  Snarled and whipped and furled.
Don't you sometimes wish you could pour conditioner on some events and watch them smooth out into a river of shiny taffy?
Not gonna happen.
I was supposed to share my good news with a friend, JT, as soon as I found out; or as soon as possible. JT has lung cancer that has spread.  He's terminal.  Another friend, J, as been his point of contact, go-to, don't-leave-me-I'm-afraid. 
So I had planned to ask her if today would be a good day to see him.  He's weak and has good days and bad.  Plus his sisters have converged.  And I was taught to never just "drop in" on folks.
Southern thing I suppose.
But when I saw J last night, they had just admitted JT to the hospital.  He's to have rest today while they rehydrate him and bolster him up with antibiotics.
So the plan is to see him tomorrow and share my news after I hand in my formal letter of resignation to the same hospital where he has been admitted.
Oh, my news.  I will be a full time Instructor at the College as of next quarter. 
And I'm trilled, beyond elated actually, I love working with my kids and at the College.
But, besides JT's being so ill, I am going to miss my Unit at the Hospital.
What I won't miss is the pain I've had after 12 hours of being on my feet and pulling and tugging obese patients.
I'm old and worn out I suppose.
My carcess is showing it's age.
Rats.
And my Supervisor.  Well, let's see.  I actually got him the position.  It was a thing where a good man needed a job and they had an opening and I campaigned.  So now I feel like I'm deserting him.  But I shouldn't because he is still employed and doing well.
But, I'm a mother hen over my chicks.  I have a hard time letting my children grow up.
I am going to stay through the Holidays.  I had said I'd work Christmas Eve and Christmas Day night shifts.  And I will. 
It's something I've always done. 
There are younger Staff out there with small children.  If I work those shifts, that's one more parent that can spend those shifts with their kids. 
Skip is in agreement with me on this.  So my "official" day of resignation will be the 28th.  I have to resign on the 28th as that is a work day.
Ain't no body gonna come in on the weekend just for me.  I ain't that special.
It would be real neat if I were.
Ah, life.  It raises you to such heights and then drops you on your ass just to let you know; you ain't all that, but I'm giving you a break enjoy what you have.
Live the moment I 'spose.  And I shall.
J just sent me a MMS.  JT is not doing well.  No visitors.  Family only.  She will give him my news for me so my promise will be kepted.  Let me know of changes.
Didn't I just mention landing on an ass.
Mine's a bit flatter today.
And so I will close.
OnceAgain

Details, Letters and Reports

---------- Forwarded message ----------

Date: Wed, Sep 30, 2009
Hello All,

  Just a quick note before I dash to the Campus to settle a book matter.

  I have received the check for the sale of the Warren property.  I will deposit that as well while I am out and about.

  We did well.  And I owe it all to Ricky; our Realtor.  He really went above and beyond for us.

  I did allow the buyer to take 1 month early occupancy so there is a rental check also.  I needed to stop the "bleed" as it were from the Estate monies as much as I could.  His moving into the property allowed me to stop having to keep the water and electric in the Estate name.  It wasn't that much, but every little bit helps.

  At this juncture, it is all outgo and no income.  So I've been keeping a tight, tight rein on everything.  And I've kept the check book balanced to the penny.

  Yes, I'm that type A.  I've been known to hunt down a dime in my own account and challenge it.  I'll leave it to your imagination how I've been with your account.

  I've also gotten all your replies on the Buick with the exception of Edmond and Betty.

  I need those by October 3, 2009.

  I'm sorry to place a mandate on this, but I've had to pay for insurance and upkeep.  That's a bleed on the Estate.

  If I've no reply by midnight then I will take this as a negative response as to your wishing to purchase her.  At that point, I'm placing her - as is - on Craig's List and that little flier that is local to Enterprise area and selling her.  I've got to get rid of her. ASAP.

  Betty knows the price.  The Buick is going.

  I plan to gather all the paperwork as per Mr. Marsh's instructions and place the data in the order he requested and do a run down to Enterprise in mid October and begin the dispersal of monies to all of you.

  This will meet the 6 month mandate by Alabama law and all other requirements.  I will be holding some monies back for taxes as I have to file 2009 for the Estate come January 2010.  Mr. Marsh will assist in that also.

  And the Estate did show income.

  Again, I will follow all to the strictest letter of the law.

  I realize most of you know I do this.  I just want to emphasize it in case anyone's forgotten.

  And please, don't call Mr. Marsh about when you are going to get your money.  I'm going to get all that is due; to you. I swear, by all I hold dear.  That was terribly unnecessary.  And embarrassing.

  I was mortified when he brought that up.  Grandmama would have been so upset.

  Closing of the Warren property went well, except for that mention, which I apologized for, but was long.  We had to wait for some of the paperwork.

  The gentleman buying the property is completely rehabbing the house and absolutely loves the place.  He has already gutted the kitchen and begun updates.  He plans to put a deck off the back door of what was Grandmama's bedroom.  That will be the master bedroom.  And the east wall that had the 1 window will be an entry to a master bathroom/closet.  He's also revamping the single bathroom.

  His favorite spot at the moment is the sun porch in the front.  He says he just loves to sit out there and read and relax.

  I gave him the file with the original survey and papers that I had found that could be salvaged.  I thought perhaps he would like to have the history of his new home.  He was very toughed.  He said he'd like to frame the original survey and hang it in the living room.

  He is a Major in the Army.  Flies Blackhawks.  Will probably have to do one more stint in Iraq.  But he plans on retiring in Enterprise.  He bought the house as a flip at 1st, but now that he's been in her; he says she's home.  He's going to spend the rest of his years there.

  His words were, "she's just the neatest little place.  I love her."

  He's made a workshop in the garage.  Does his own wood working.  Getting a divorce and has a young son that likes to run down the hall; through the kitchen, up the dining room; across the living room and start the circuit again.

  Sound familiar?

  We did alot of chatting while waiting for papers.  I like him.  And it made the signing over of a place I hold very dear somewhat easier.

  I didn't cry.  I was very professional and wore a nice pantsuit.  Heels, too.  I did you all proud.  Even used my good handwriting.

  So we've crossed another job off the list.  Dawn's light is showing.  And I shall wrap this up a swiftly as possible.

  Take care all,

  Aud
(Recap of one of the missives to the Relatives about the Estate)
(Told you I'd been writing)

--
Regards,
    Audrey Johnston

Audrey H. Johnston
Madison, AL 35756
256-653-3397

Back From the "Dead"

Two Months. It's been two frickin' months since I've posted. Is that not the pits?
I should be shot. But then I feel like I have been. It's been a long haul folks. And I'm pooped. Flat out TIRED. Exhausted. Sleepy. Uh....need I go on?
And the pity is; I've been writing my little fingers off. Truly. They've just been letters to other folks. Some good; some sharp; and some really to the point and kinda bad.
I think what I'm going to have to do is save a copy/paste of these little deals and then publish them so you folks will know - SHE's ALIVE!!!!
So on to the news.
The Estate is about tidied up for the year. I go tomorrow and roll the CD's over into the checking account and that's it until after January. Then we do taxes and I hope I'm done.
DONE.
Of course getting there was not without it's drama.
We sold the old homestead and that was traumatic for me. But the gentleman that bought it; is in love with the place and it'll not be torn down. Instead it will be refurbish and rebuilt and added onto for another generation to grow and love.
I can handle that. My heart is sore, but not broken.
Then I finally had everything ready to start cutting the checks. And of course the Boys were cooperative.
But the two who had howled and cried foul and kicked and screamed about the money and unfairness over waiting and sharing of and for funds; did they cooperate?
HELL NO! They were the last to send in numbers; info, etc.
Finally; I sent out emails that ask and stated if you want your money; you must do this by this or you will by George wait until after Christmas because I am taking a break from the two of you. Period.
They called in their info the next morning. And cost the Estate a bit more cash than was necessary so I could get everything out before Thanksgiving.
Creeps.
And during all this; I had a daughter and Grandest kids visit, worked my 2 jobs, got coins and Estate items appraised. I handled Buick issues and conferred with my Dad - my Stepmom is getting forgetful. I also made a RV jamboree with Skip for a long weekend. Went to classes to keep up my certificates and licenses for my jobs. Worked on the house and actually got a few projects finished. Last but not in the least; we had a friend be diagnosed with lung cancer and I spent a long evening with him while he told me things that I'm not sure I wanted to hear, but I listened. All the while thinking as I typed the long email letters to friends and family that I needed to get to my blog and blow off some steam.
The thing is, as I've said, some of my mailings were as long if not longer than my blogs. And as the Boys have noted - funny.
As a matter of fact; I've promised to keep writing and in touch because they enjoy them so much. So I could have done a cut and paste and posted to here. Or vice versa, I suppose.
Why didn't I?
I don't know. I meant too. I just never got around to it. I was always getting sidetracked. Or worn out or, or, or......
And I'm teaching 2 new subjects this quarter.
JUST when you get all your exams where ya want them... well, there ya are, they go and switch things on ya.
Oh, oh, oh. I may be down to one job in the coming year if everything works out. So all must have very good thoughts for me. But I may take on an additional class and a clinic. And if I do that; I'm going to the College full time.
It will certainly help with the neck issue. Since I got that little number started up; it's been making up for lost time with a vengeance. After every 12 hours on the floor; I spend 10 hours wanting to lay on my side and just huddle. Not a lot of fun. To be honest, it saps me. I may be to the point where I'm more effective in the classroom.
Good thing I love it there.
My Kids this quarter have again been a blast. I don't know how I get so darn lucky. But I look forward to going into work each Monday and Wednesday. I just hope it keeps on being that way. The only problem I had turn out to be because I was following the rules set out for us as Instructors. So when the President ask me to write down what happened and I did, he got 1st hand knowledge that I was doing what he told me to do.
Whew.
Especially since there were a few that weren't. Oh so glad that I wasn't one of them.
That little problem ate up a full week. Sweated it out, too. I can be, oh, so paranoid.
So that about raps this up. I'm back and I figure I can start doing the cut and paste bit to keep up.
Actually, I probably should go back into my sent files and look up and post a few things to prove I wasn't in a coma or something for the past 2 months.
I may. I may. We'll see.
In the meantime, I'm back alive and kicking.
OnceAgain