Abby?

I love reading Dear Abby. And her ilk. All those folks asking for advice on what to do with Aunt "won't- listen - to - me" or "bum - son - living - off - of - us."
The answer is always ssssoooo obvious. And they ask anyway.
What do I do? Alas, woe is me!
Get over it people! Really! Ignore the old bat back and kick "Bum" out on his ass.
But they ask anyway. I 'spect because they want to either hear what they already know; want validation for what they are about to do; or think maybe, just maybe, someone will tell them it's OK to continue to be doormats.
So sad.
Of course when it involves children it's rougher. But true love doesn't allow for assisting in a child's spiraling self destruction.
You have to be the adult. You have to be THE PARENT.
When it involves your parent; sometimes it gets iffy.
Personally; I'm keeping 1 & dumping the other.
Got that, Mumsie?
And yes, I got therapy for my "issues."
Just a few sessions. Because I was given a question to carry with me. If you are in pain; or someone is causing you pain; does it make sense to stay in pain?
And since that time; my life has been much better. Not perfect. No. But much better.
And when a painful situation arose; my ability to turn it around worked pretty good. For me.
And the made - me - hurt - person isn't likely to cross me again. I REALLY know how to stand up for myself now.
To be fair; 'tis always much easier to sweep someone else's back porch clean. But I can't believe some of the situations these people write in about. It's like they're into S&M. Beat me; abuse me; use me.
Good grief. Just go to the back alleys of the worst place of any big city & wave around a wad of cash. Then double dare someone; anyone to take it from you. And resist.
I mean if you really want to get the crap beat outa you....Do it right.
So for the lady complaining that her mother-in-law would ask her advice on arranging things & then ignore her? If it had been me? After the obvious 2nd time; I'd have flashed her my sweetest smile & assured her she no longer had to be polite. It wasn't going to hurt my feelings for her to do things her way. Just enjoy her new space.
And by the way; her reaction would let me know if she'd been game playing or not.
Bum son. 2 months to get a job & contribute to the household. Or OUT. Girlfriend? 1 month. Drugs? Uh, NO! If you've got money for them, you've got money for rent. Buh bye.
If they're over 25; get real folks. They're grown ups. Keep enabling them. What are they gonna do when you're 90?
In the meantime, I'll keep reading & shaking my head. I'll keep pursing my lips in amusement. AND I'll thank God for our kids & the fact we toughed them out.
Yeah, I practice what I gripe about.
They came out pretty good - so far.
Maybe that's why lots of my students come to me & so do my friends.
And maybe that's why you'll occasionally hear me grouse; I'm gonna change my name to Dear Abby.
And just for the record; for the 2 that ask & then argued &/or didn't listen? When they ask again; I declined to assist. When they expressed bewilderment; I gently reminded them of the aforementioned.
There's no reason for either of us to waste valuable time or effort on anything that will come to naught. So let's just move along,'K? It stung them I'm sure, but word got around & now I only get the serious contenders.
Thank you. There are plenty of them.
I'm flattered. And so it goes. My career is secure and so is my "hobby" ... apparently.
Abby or not; here they keep coming.
OnceAgain
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