Me Time

Its sunny again. THANK goodness. After yesterday; and the day before; well; I thought that was that. We'd definitely broken the drought and we'd definitely have wet feet (along with every frickin' thing else) for the rest of our stay here in sunny south Florida.
But the sun came out to play this morning and she's stayed.
Yip - ee!
Now if the damn wind would die down it'd be perfect; but alas; one can't always have everything.
AND I finally got it through the old man's head that I just wanted a little "me" time.
Wasn't going to run away. Wasn't going to do anything nefarious. Wasn't going to go off and spend all his money. Just wanted to sit in the relative quiet of my own company and .... do nothing.
OK, well read the paper; clean up my e-mail; sit; get up and put some hooks up in the new RV; putter around and do whatever struck my fancy; and just hum around as I pleased.
That kind of me time. Doin' what I wanted to do or NOT do when I wanted to do or NOT do it me time.
THAT kinda time.
I don't get that when we go places. Usually.
This time I put my foot down.
Don't get me wrong. I love, love, love my Grandest kids and their parents. Love seeing their other grandparents. Love going around to the baseball games and all the goings on, etc. But at some point; I just want to stop and just stop.
Isn't that what vacations and getting away from it all stuff is about? Isn't that what you are supposed to do when you "chill?"
What ever happened to coming home tanned and rested?
OK; OK; I know I won't be doing the tan thing unless its from a spray gun; but can't I be rested for God's sake?
I mean come on people! I work 2 jobs and I'm doin' this Estate thing that "she who bore me" is givin' me fits over. Why can't I put my feet up and catch my breath here and take a minute; or 2; or what the hell; 180.
So I ask for this Sunday.
And after a little too much pushing, Mr. always-has-something-planned-and-things-to-do pushed that one inch too far. And I expressed myself in those terms that only I can.
Finally he got the message. Oh, she wants to stay at the RV without me, or the kids, or even the Grandest kids and just be.
Yes. I just want to be.
Dumb butt.
And even then he wanted me to drive him over to the ball park and leave him with friends so I "could have a car." I told him no.
Well, that was the gist. It was growled. Maybe snarled. But it was a definite negative.
He took the car and drove himself.
I do hope he's enjoying his baseball game. And I hope the Cardinals are winning. It's Spring Training here in Jupiter, FL. They're playing the Orioles today. And I'm not there.
I'm here. At my RV. I'm puttering and putering and doing what I darn well please when I please. The sun is warm, the wind a bit cool. But my oh my, not one person is here to rain on my parade.
OnceAgain

Patience

I'm not the most patient of people. Really. Friends can vouch for me on this one. So can my girls.
And now this is the 2nd Monday that I've had to sit in a waiting room and cool my jets why the old man's had a "procedure."
Thank you, Tracey.
Need to smack that young lady.
Not literally, of course.
She did it. Got her Dad to have a physical after all these years.
It was what she wanted for Christmas.
I gave up years ago. It was the cause of way too many problems and consternation in our relationship. Way too much.
Oh, say it. We had a couple of good fights. And a little yelling.
It was early in our relationship. Very early.
You know those days. When the 2 of you are still circling each other and defining your territories and deciding who is willing to give how much to the other. Who is willing to cede how much power over the other.
The stupid years.
The years before you realize that if you don't love someone as they basically are as a person; you'd better just haul ass outa there because you really don't belong together in the 1st place.
It took me a while in this life to realize that people are only able to love you as much as they are able to love you. Period.
And that doesn't mean I'm wise beyond the wise. It just means I've accepted the dude for who he happens to be.
And I get up and walk away when he acts like the jackass he can be. I don't fight and scream.
It just isn't worth it to get into a maelstrom. Why should I act like a fool and lower my standards just to meet someone else's expectations?
And then, when things have calmed down, I'm willing to talk. But, if you get loud again? We go back to the freeze zone.
And I can be VERY icy.
Actually seems to work better than the old fighting.
Men hate to be ignored. So do most women.
This doesn't mean I won't go to war for what is right vs. what is wrong; it just means I don't waste my precious energy on minuscule nothings.
And now I'm in the freeze zone for another reason. This waiting room is damn cold. And the old man is having a procedure to see if those outstandingly elevated PSA's mean a cancer is lurking in his nether regions.
And I will have to be patient even after this event is finished while they "cook" the biopsies.
Wonderful. I have something else to look patiently forward too.
Not.
OnceAgain